A lot is happening in the world right now. I’ve spent the last few blogs writing about COVID-19 and, while many cities are opening back up, new cases are still being diagnosed every day. And in the midst of all the division and politicizing about mask-wearing and whether or not certain businesses can reopen, we’ve had at least three high-profile cases of police brutality and blatant, unrepentant racism.
This is far from the first time an innocent man of color was murdered while in police custody or chased down by white vigilantes and killed in the middle of the street. Our country has a long and ugly history of these very things. But more and more people are speaking up and demanding change. It’s important.
It’s important that all people, not just African-Americans, speak up, join the fight, donate money, support the cause. But it’s even more important that we start doing a better job of listening.
I’m no expert on race matters. I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to be black in America. So if I am to understand and be more effective in trying to change the system, it’s time to do more listening. There are thousands of voices out there, screaming to be heard. They don’t need our opinion, they need our support, and you can best support by listening. Listen for truth, listen to understand, listen with humility.
These are the same skills I use when I work with patient complaints. I wouldn’t dream of arguing with a patient who tells me they had a bad experience with us. I would never say, “Well yeah you had a bad time, but so did that patient over there; be glad that wasn’t you.” I would never tell them they were blowing it out of proportion or that it doesn’t happen all that often or it’s a lot better than it used to be.
I would never tell them that the system works just fine and then not do anything to remedy their complaint. And I would never blame the people who bring us the concerns and think it was their problem, not ours.
It’s difficult to hear negative things about the place you work or the people you work with or even about yourself. The first reaction is typically to get defensive and gather up as much evidence as you can to prove the opposite. But that doesn’t bring you any closer to solving the problem.
When a person who has difficulty walking tells me that navigating the hallways of our hospital is nearly impossible, I don’t brush it off thinking, “Hey most people can walk just fine and don’t have any problems,” and then do nothing.
When we want to get a better handle on what it’s like to be a parent of a newborn in the ICU, we don’t all sit around the table and try to imagine it, ourselves. We contact people who have lived that experience and when we ask them what we can do better, we listen to them. Sometimes, their solutions are easy. Most of the time, however, they’re tough, time-consuming, expensive.
But we do them because we know it’s the right thing to do. We take responsibility for having caused the issue in the first place and we work to fix it.
Novelist and activist James Baldwin said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” Such an obvious concept when it comes to customer service, patient experience, or process improvement, but so difficult when it comes to race relations and systemic oppression.
Certainly, rules and laws are needed but they alone won’t solve the problem. We need to face the fact that we have a problem. We need to change people’s hearts. It begins with listening.